Conscience? No, that doesn't sound like me...

Day started out interesting enough - I woke up in a warm toasty bed. Felt too lazy to walk to work - so decided to bus it.

Also thinking about the day - I have so much to do before the weekend, so do I really need to go on this date tonight? Seriously? My house looks like it's been hit by a cyclone.

I'm also thinking about what I did to Peter. Which I still feel awful about. It doesn't help that he is a nice guy, who really deserves to be treated better. I was not a complete bitch, and I think I let him down ok, but I wanted to tell him that I was shallow and petty. Because that is what I am and that is the reason I could not see myself with him.

Of course I hope things work out with Damion. And if it doesn't, I know it's because of karma. But really, in my defence, he was NOT the perfect gentleman either. At times, he was, like walking me home, he said some downright rude things. He called me fat, and he even implied that I was a slut! Soooooooo... to cut a long story short, I cut him out. Which I felt ok about until he called and said that he wanted to be with me. I think that sort of triggered me to think about Damion. I mean, I think of guys in checklists, and in this case, Peter failed miserably:

The important stuff:

a) do we get along? YES

b) is the conversation always mentally stimulating? NO

c) am I attracted to him? NO

The shallow, yet important stuff:

a) does he have a steady job? NO

b) will I want to introduce him to my friends? NO

c) is he generally attractive? NO

And that is why I had to cut him loose. It is sad that I let the shallow, superficial stuff affect my judgment as well, but hey, that is society and that is who I am.

Then why do I feel so bad?