Ar least out loud I won't say I'm in love...

You know sometimes you think to yourself, I'm just going to date the quiet, unattractive guy. You know, the one that is less likely to hurt you or break your heart. But wait, here's a newsflash: THEY DO ANYWAY. So in a sense, why would you date the unattractive guy when you could've been dating someone nice to look at? If the end result is the same, then what the (pardon my French) fuck is the point?

My new mantra. Don't get attached. Because at the end of the day, your feelings are out on the line and you run the risk of shattering your heart into a thousand pieces. Play games. Never tell him how you feel. Because when you do, you lose power and lose face. Which is exactly what happened last night.

After stuffing up with Daniel, where I waited for too long to meet him, I had a new outlook. Meet them quickly, do not get attached. Same thing with Christopher. After the whole buildup, meeting Christoper was a big disappointment. Needless to say, we are not seeing each other and I sincerely wish him well in his search. Do I really? No, I wish he will meet a controlling freak who makes him miserable. Why should I be nice about it?

So I met Damion. Looks ok enough, I was optimistic about it all. It bothered me a little that he still lived at home and didn't seem to have too many friends. One of those typical computer nerds in my opinion - someone that I would've stayed away from from the get-go. But this was a new me, I was going to give it a chance.

Had our first date, it was lovely and we had a good time. He asked me for a second one and that's when it all ended. He told me last night that he felt that "we didn't really connect" and that "tbh (which I found out meant to be honest - I seriously didn't know) you freaked me out a little". Ok then. So having friends and being out there is freaky. OK THEN.

So end of story, it's not happening. He still wants to be friends and hope that he "didn't upset me". Get stuffed Damion. I mean seriously, you are a lovely lovely guy, but why would you not think for a MOMENT that that would not upset me.

So lesson for the day:

a) when a guy asks you how you feel about him, LIE.

b) never put your feelings out there, because it is something that he can use to stomp all over you.

c) always always date a good-looking guy - or at least someone that you would find attractive, and even if you don't, find someone that everyone else would find attractive

d) never get attached.

That is all.