F**ked in the head

I'm so tired. Of all the bullshit. Seriously. Being in a relationship should not be hard. But at the same time, it could just be my bad karma because of what I did to Nadia. But I'm trying not to care.

It's been a taxing time for me and Jillian and I suppose now we're actually putting our friendship to the test. That is, if she can be bothered. I've tried my best, but there is only so many times that I can offer to spend time with her. When it gets too hard, I'm just going to turn my heels and run. Because seriously, I do not put up with this much BS.

But talking to the girls, seriously, I look at him and while I really love him to bits - you know, I don't harbour the same intense feelings that I did for Damion. And I sound like a complete bitch because I know how he feels about me and I just don't want to hurt him. I fell into a relationship that I shouldn't have entered anyway. I fell in because I needed someone to be there for me, I needed my friends to pull me through the tough times and they let me down. This happened and as a result, I could be hurting one of the sweetest guys I've ever known.

I could grow to love him and feel as passionately for him as I do for Damion. But only time will tell.