The caste system

I hate Sex and the City. I do. It's great cuz it's reflective of society today, at the same time, it points out the glaringly obvious things, things that you never think about, but yet are just so in your face that you can't ignore it.

This one episode struck me to the core over the week, and it was the one about the caste system. Apparently, even today's western society is divided into invisible subclasses, the same as how the Indians are and there are rules to abide by. There will be no mixing between the castes, that the people from the upper class are to be shunned if they were to go out with the people considered from the lower class.

It made me think about the society in which I live. As it is a really small place, nothing is sacred and everyone's business is everyone else's. People actually get paranoid about going to confession because the priest they are confessing to is probably related to the person they did it with.

I go to uni, so most of my friends tend to be from uni. I realised that none of my friends are going out with someone who is not from uni. Everyone's boyfriend is either at uni, or has graduated and working a white-collared job. It's "My boyfriend the lawyer" or "My boyfriend with First class honours". If you said to someone that your boyfriend doesn't have a degree, it matters not whether you love him or not, this is always met with a deafening silence.

In a society where we accept people for being different, for being homosexuals, for doing drugs, for having fetishes, hell, for voting for Bush in the recent election, it is funny that now people are judged for not having an education.

I have talked to several people about the caste system, and I have been receiving some very interesting answers:

Michael thinks that the caste system does exist. He thinks that ultimately human nature is such that if you work so hard to achieve something in your life, it will be unlikely that you will settle for someone who couldn't be bothered. Ultimately, he thinks that people with such different priorities in life are doomed to have a failed relationship. At the same time, he's a yuppie.

Gina believes that as long as the two people love each other, it shouldn't matter. Everyone has their flaws and as long as those flaws do not bug the hell outta you, it's not a problem. Gina's a hopeless romantic.

Natasha thinks love is overrated and everything today is pure bullshit. She believes that marriage is an institution for the hypocrites, if two people love each other so much, why does it have to be official? Why would you need to stand in front of hundreds of people and announce your union? Even if your union is done in City Hall, why bother doing it at all? Does that certificate really matter? Natasha's a cynic.

Sam says that he would go out with a girl who has a more superior standing in society than him but may not date someone who does not have and the drive to improve themselves. His reasoning is that he is very goal orientated and strives for perfection in his daily life. He duly notes though, the line which separates whether or not he would date someone is somewhat blurred. Emotional attachment would play an important role in his decision. Sam is an engineer.

Questions questions and more questions to ponder. Where do you stand on this?

Suicide

One of my friend's father committed suicide today. The news is not officially out yet, but knowing where I live, it will be out soon. One of our other friends called him and asked him how he was doing, and the thing he said was "I'm still confused". And that's what got me thinking. Why woud someone, who has had a family, watched the children grow up, go into uni, and had a fairly succesful career, just woke up one morning and decided to kill himself. No letter, nothing. No indication of why he took his own life.

I don't mean to dishonour the dead, but isn't that the most selfish thing someone could do? Not only did he cause the people who he loved, the people who loved him probably more than anything in the world the grief, but he also denied them the knowledge of why he did what he did. For a long time now, they will be thinking and wondering whether they were the reason for his suicide.

I think it's sad. And I feel for my friend, but until nothing is said I will plead ignorance and when the news is officially revealed, I will let him know that I am there for him.

Canberra

Whoever says that Canberra is a hole can kiss my ass. I was there over the weekend, and I think it's the most interesting place I have ever been to. Not only it is beautiful, the weather was inviting, the people were really nice and how can you hate a place that has legalised triple x porn, marijuana and fireworks?

Geez people, get a life.

Oh, and I'm embarassed because I still thought that Megawati Sukarnoputeri is still the President of Indonesia. Saw Johnny Howard and Philip Ruddock, none of which is a big whoop, but thought that it was still important anyway.

Alrighty, I think I've written enough for today. Tell you more about Canberra tomorrow.

Close personal friends

Get this. I have a close personal friend. Yes. This is the code I have created when I really mean FUCK BUDDY. That's right ladies and gents, I have one. I can't believe it. Boyfriends are overrated, I reckon, and this actually fits in my schedule.

What is it about women these days huh? Romance does seem to be dead. You want someone to be there whenever you need him, yet when he needs you there, you just don't have time to be there. I know it sounds selfish, but hey I have stuff to do, a life to get on with, assignments to do... I don't have time for a full time man.

As it is, I have a test tomorrow, and he has already taken up half my time today. And the best thing is that he actually asked me whether I'd like to be his girlfriend last night. I managed to get out of it yesterday, but then again, what am I going to do when he asks me again? I'm not saying that one shouldn't be monogamous, you can be monogamous if you're only doing one person, but that person doesn't have to be your boyfriend. Without boyfriends, you don't have to worry about anniversaries, don't have to explain yourself on where you're going, what you're doing and who you're meeting. Furthermore, there's no question of "us". Where are we heading? Are we moving forward? Do we want this to get more serious. With close personal friends, it's companionship when you need it, sexual satisfaction, and then on with your lives.

To be completely honest, I was going to kick him out of my house the other day because he was talking while I was watching the Apprentice. It could never work. He doesn't watch the OC, the Apprentice, Survivor and all the shit that I watch. He's not remotely interested in my passion, Rugby Union, the only thing he does is work, drugs, alcohol and partying. Should I be called shallow for not wanting to see this person as more than a close personal friend? In Asia I would be commended for not taking this relationship a step further. There is no particular reason why I wouldn't go out with him, the drugs, the alcohol and the partying doesn't bother me, but at the same time it doesn't thrill me either. I don't think I'm judging him, the sex is great and the conversations are still mentally stimulating. I'd hate to say that these are the factors which are holding me back, and while I wouldn't say that it is the sole factor ( the fact that we are from two entirely separate worlds) , it does play an immense role.

Great. So I started out this journal thinking that I can totally justify retaining my close personal relationship as just sex, and that boyfriends are overrated. That the reason why I don't want to take this extra step by choice. What has happened is that I realised that I am exactly the kind of person which I despise more than anything, shallow and superficial. I'm not going out with him largely in part because of the society which I was born into and the person I have started to become. It scares me to think that further down the track I will be completely moulded into the Asian way of thinking, that the 5Cs are a standard requirement that we need to have a healthy relationship. That it doesn't matter whether you are comfortable with each other, the sex is great, the conversations are lively and the way you feel when he looks into your eyes. Hm, funny that I have become what I have been fighting so hard against.